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Post by fouroftwo on Jun 16, 2010 12:05:07 GMT -5
Lately I've been reading some stuff on Facebook about fans complaining that the band has blown them off after shows. It never occurred to me to be angry or offended if the guys didn't want to talk to me after a show (not that I've ever tried to talk to them after a show, because I think that's kind of intrusive) but has anyone actually had a negative experience while trying to interact with them, either at a show or outside a show?
(The folly in asking this question is that I know 99% of the people who are going to answer this question, and I know what their answers will be. OH WELL.)
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Post by a generic reality on Jun 17, 2010 12:30:27 GMT -5
NEVER BEEN TO A SHOW
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Post by bluecanary on Jun 19, 2010 1:02:18 GMT -5
Warning: Long winded and opinionated response ahead. Move forward at your own risk.
You know, that is something that has been bothering me lately as well and it came up again just today. Someone had posted a comment in response to their London show post on Facebook saying something about hoping they could shake hands afterward. Then someone else replied with a comment that I thought was just nasty about how the band doesn't care enough about their fans to interact with them.
That to me just comes from a bitter person who had a bad experience while trying to get an autograph. And the chances are pretty good that if they are the type of person who is still complaining about it, in public, on Facebook, then they probably weren't very polite in their autograph seeking and that's probably why they got blown off. I am sure that is not 100% true and there are some very nice people who have had bad experiences, but in general.
Personally, I think it is far more rude to ambush the guys after a show when they are trying to get back to their bus than it is for them to refuse an autograph. Once they leave the stage they are on their time not ours. I mean, how would you feel if someone approached you in the parking lot on the way out of your job and asked you to keep working, you know?
Granted, I have never tried to interact with the Johns after a show but the impression I have gotten from people who have is that much of the time Flans will sign stuff and even pose for pictures if he is in a good mood. If he is in a bad mood he doesn't. I'm sure it depends on how well the show went, how hungry he is, how tired he is, if he has just had an argument with the stage manager, whatever. Sometimes they legitimately don't have time because they are moving on to the next city with all of their stuff broken down within a matter of hours after the show is over. When it comes down to a choice between sleeping for an hour or having dinner or interacting with a fan, sleep and food probably usually win.
And I'm sure that they are probably occasionally rude to fans, especially when they are caught when they are not "on." It's hard to make the switch from normal guy walking down the street thinking about your to-do list to performer instantly. And honestly one of the perks of being famous is that you are occasionally allowed to be a jerk and get away with it.
I can't remember if I told you this story already or not but I wrote it up for someone else I was corresponding with recently so I'll just cut and paste. I have a feeling I did because I think we were talking about it in the context of what happened to Marty after the Greenway show.
I listened to a podcast where someone was talking about going to the Cleveland show in the fall and trying to get Flans to sign something while he was passing out bumper stickers from the stage after the show. Flans had told him "I can't break the seal." Basically, meaning that as long as he was just standing there passing out bumper stickers and not really interacting with people he was behind the seal but if he signed something for him he would break the seal and everyone would try to get stuff signed and there would be chaos. I actually saw it happen to Marty at an earlier show and he got swarmed, poor guy. So I understand they have to really pick and choose when to break that seal.
I know several people who have had positive experiences getting Flans to sign stuff after a show. I have never talked to anyone who got Linnell to sign things outside a formal signing. At least not recently.
I have been at those bumper sticker shows (including this past Saturday actually) where I've been attempting to hang out by the stage to get a setlist while Flans is passing out bumper stickers and he's made comments that I felt were directly at me, asking people to move out of the way so other people can come get stickers. I've never been particularly offended by it but then again I think I'm always more worried about irritating him than about him irritating me.
All of my post show experiences have been with Marty and Danny and Dan and they've all been very polite and even friendly.
I think the nature of celebrity and the public's response to celebrity had changed a lot in recent years with the evolution of the internet and social media. People feel like they "know" celebrities now because they read their tweets or their blogs or watch videos of them playing with their dogs. The barrier between the celebrities and the fans are rapidly coming down and I think celebrities should think very carefully about how much of that barrier they want to lose before opening themselves up to the public.
I think it's somewhat telling that TMBG have historically been pretty private people. They've had a very open relationship with fans professionally and very closed personally which is exactly how it should be if you want to separate your job from your personal life. I've got some experience in that area and it is not always easy or fun.
I don't know if I actually have a point in any of this. I'm mostly just rambling and like you said, you probably already knew what my answer was going to be anyway. I guess I'll get off my soap box and go finish my Baltimore blog.
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Post by fouroftwo on Jun 19, 2010 1:34:02 GMT -5
I felt really bad for Marty at the Boston show, and then I felt like a jerk because I was clearly part of the problem. I've never run into either of the Johns or Dan before/after a show but I've had good experiences with Danny and Marty.
At the Pittsburgh show in March a similar bumper sticker incident occurred -- a guy asked Flans for a handshake and Flans refused because children carry germs. I took a sticker and waited for a setlist but nobody came out and Marty was still standing there, staring blankly at the back of the room, so I asked him for Linnell's and he gave it to me. He was very clearly trying to ignore me while I was standing there, though. I think he was afraid I was going to try and get an autograph or ask him if Flans was coming back out.
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Post by bluecanary on Jun 19, 2010 2:50:07 GMT -5
Totally off topic, but speaking of feeling bad for Marty and bad bumper sticker incidents, there was also the show I was at in the fall where Marty fell off the stage while handing out stickers. He didn't realize there was about a foot gap between the edge of the stage and where the fans were standing and one second he was reaching out to hand out stickers and the next he was in a hole. He's lucky he didn't break an ankle or something. Clearly those bumper stickers are bad news.
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Post by witheredhope on Jun 24, 2010 16:22:32 GMT -5
Personally, I would never approach ANYONE I admired without their expressed consent. If a member of the band passes me while I'm waiting in line, I don't even look too hard at them because I don't want to seem intrusive or appear as if I'm expecting something. Hahaha. The only time I feel comfortable asking the band, (ESPECIALLY the Johns), for anything at all, is in a planned, sit-down in-store signing situation. And even then that one time I was so intimidated that I could barely say anything.
I agree that the people who complain and say douchey things about the guys being mean to their fans are probably those same people who yell annoying things at them during the shows, rip the setlists off of Linnell's keyboard the second the lights come up afterwords, and act entitled to whatever the hell they want no matter how impolitely they approach it.
The honest truth is that part of me is also scared that I might one day have a negative experience with someone I admire in this type of situation, and that will destroy my spirits, so that's another reason I don't approach people unless it's invited. That and I just think it's respectful not to. TMBG gives you the band/fan interaction their own way, during the show, when they're playing their music for you. When you think about it. Right? They're very audience interactive!
And they definitely did start their careers WAYYY before the age of Facebook and Twitter, just like you were saying! That's a HUGELY important point. They probably shouldn't open themselves up to their fanbase quite as much as technology now allows you to for that exact reason; there are SO many scary and awful people out there that it just isn't safe.
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Post by bluecanary on Jun 24, 2010 20:46:17 GMT -5
Well said, Stacy.
I totally agree with you about the fear of having a negative experience with someone I admire. I don't want to be put in a situation where I am obliged to think ill of someone I have idolized. I also have a great fear of making a bad impression myself. I have a great talent for saying stupid things when I am nervous which is a great motivator for not saying anything at all.
I guess I've been a little more forward about seeking autographs from the Dans and Marty but I also feel like they are a little more accessible somehow. Perhaps that's unfair to them. I don't know.
I've typed and erased about 10 different other sentences here but I'm going to skip them all because I don't really know what I want to say.
Cheers.
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Post by fouroftwo on Jun 25, 2010 11:33:13 GMT -5
The honest truth is that part of me is also scared that I might one day have a negative experience with someone I admire in this type of situation, and that will destroy my spirits, so that's another reason I don't approach people unless it's invited. YES. I was even nervous at the book signing because of this. Luckily it was anything but negative, but ugh, I was stressed to the max that Linnell would be a jerk and Flans wouldn't look at me when I said hello and BAH. Well said.
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Post by bluecanary on Jun 25, 2010 19:59:30 GMT -5
I wonder if there is something in the genetic make-up of the fangirl that says we must be neurotic or if we end up being fangirls because we are neurotic?
I don't stress so much before meeting people. I even have odd moments of bravery that are very uncharacteristic of me. It's afterward that I get all kookie and over analyze everything that was said until I am sure that I am the biggest dork ever and the person I met probably hated me.
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Ana Ng
Junior Member
Sapphire Bullets...
Posts: 98
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Post by Ana Ng on Jun 26, 2010 16:35:42 GMT -5
(If I go to a concert or anywhere where a person I admire is) I would probably be like that. Unless I was with a friend because if I was, I would just be like 'Omg [friend's name], do you know who that is?!' But on all accounts, I am totally the neurotic type.
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tdk
New Member
Posts: 38
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Post by tdk on Jul 4, 2010 7:33:05 GMT -5
Hoo boy. My experiences with band interaction over the past fifteen years or so has varied from being approached by Flansburgh so he could tell me how much he appreciated a recent livejournal post I made about how much you suck if you downloaded the leaked copy of The Else and weren't planning to pay for the iTunes version to being told by a stagehand that Flansburgh is happy to see me but he would like for me to not stand in the front row for the show tonight. I have gotten Linnell to sign twice outside a signing.. my first ever encounter, I caught both of them on the way back the venue after dinner (photo). Another time I intercepted him on the way to his car and he told me, "Okay, I'll be nice. I know I'm usually mean." I told him that nobody thinks he's mean. I've had moments that I'll fondly remember and cringetastic encounters that I wish I could erase from my brain. Man, I could tell you some stories...
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Post by bluecanary on Jul 4, 2010 10:32:12 GMT -5
You know, tdk, someday you are going to have to tell us those stories :-) But I think those cringetastic encounters you mention are exactly what the drive the rest of us to avoid encounters with the band. That sounds like the sort of thing my fragile ego would not recover from.
You also bring up something else I've been pondering (read:worrying) over which is the whole issue of the front row. Though I am pretty solidly a front row fan now, I wasn't until we went on our fall trip. Because we were traveling we typically got to venues a lot earlier so suddenly it was easier to get in front than it was in NY and the surrounding area when you are basically competing with the other uber-fans for a front row spot.
But I wonder two things. First if the band ever gets sick of having the same people in the front row all the time and not letting other fans have a chance. And two, especially when I travel to shows, if it wouldn't be nicer to let the local fans who haven't seen the band a billion times have the front spots.
Part of me feels like, I've traveled so far, I deserve to be up front and part of me feels like the local fans deserve it more. And I wonder if the band ever things that same thing. "Get out of the way girl and let someone else have a turn." I think always having my camera makes me even more paranoid about this.
I may be over thinking this but these are the sorts of things I wonder about when I have too much time on my hand.
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